Put away that lucky coin. Forget the tracking whether Venus is in retrograde. Keep that magic 8-ball collecting dust in the closet. Because it’s official. PFC has launched the app that will tell you what the stock market is going to do TOMORROW.

This is extremely valuable information. There are about 250 trading days per year. The market moves about 1% per day, either up or down. Now to NORMAL INVESTORS, you need to endure the 46% of down days to take advantage of the 54% of up days. A tiring slog for sure.

But now with the PFC “Tomorrow” app, not only can you avoid those down days, you can SHORT THE MARKET on each of those down days turning everyone else’s negative return into your positive return! That means 250 positive days in a row. That’s an 1,103% annual return. At that rate you can turn a modest $1,000 starting investment into $63 trillion in about 10 years. That means you could pay off the US National Debt and still have about $23 trillion left over. And as a tax paying citizen, let me tell you, we would really appreciate it.

Beware that the app only guarantees up to 50% accuracy, but even if you end up with 50% of that $23 trillion I mentioned a minute ago, that’s $11.5 trillion which is more than the GDP of the UK, Germany, and France combined. I’m pretty sure that’s how the math works.

If Napster and LimeWire aren’t working for you, feel free to use Kazaa or BearShare. Failing that, just grab an AOL CD and dial up and we’ll send you out a floppy disk.

p.s. If you’ve made it this far and are still wondering what the eff is going on, please check the date.

As always, reminding you to build wealth by following the two PFC rules: 1.) Live below your means and 2.) Invest early and often.

-Jeremy